Grief

Grief, it comes and goes in the most unexpected times. We can try and avoid it but it always seems to find a way back in. Becoming all consuming and suffocating. Like your heads barely above water and you don't know if you're going to survive or not. It's painful to experience this and with people who share your pain, because not only are you grieving this loss but you have to watch someone you care deeply about suffer and drown too.

All you want to do is hold them and tell them everything's going to be ok. That this feeling may never go away, but you get to decide how it lives inside you. I choose to think of the moments we had and grateful for the time spent with them even if it was cut short. It's important to be present with your grief and allow yourself to release that pain and sadness. Doesn't mean it goes away, but it wont destroy my spirit. That's the thing about life, it's full of surprises, hurt, love and happiness if you allow it.

What brings you back into your body so you can function again. For me i write, i go outside and listen to the birds and the frogs. I touch mother earth under my feet and ask for help, to let go of this feeling in my body. To not go away, but to no longer control me. To not dim my spirit, my strength and resilience. Calm comes over my body and i'm grounded again. Back home to myself. Im grateful for tools that help me cope in a painful beautiful world. I'm more patient with myself today and give myself a pass to be nothing at all today. Nothing but what i need right now.